Ally McBeal >

Cage & Fish. A room.
AMB, JC and a woman.
JC: And willing to take it to trial it's just that I heu...

CL: You don't think you can win.

JC (stutters): Yadada Poughkee... Poughkee... Poughkee... Macy's

AMB: Wo the thing is that... making love is wonderful but when you're a... a... a... how do I say it ?

CL: a nun.

AMB: Yes a nun. Nuns are not supposed to have sex except, you know (she punches JC slightly, she's joking) with other nuns.

CL: I still think that jury will be sympathetic. Once for the church that dismissed me...

JC: Look, I admit I'm not courant but isn't celibacy a function of the job ?

CL: I made a mistake, I admitted it. Why can't I move on ?

AMB: Well, we can take it to trial if you want, but...

JC: It would be a total hail Mary... Ah... (stutters) Mongey


AMB and JC walking in the lobby of Cage & Fish.
AMB: Is it me or do we just seem to be a magnet for strange cases ?
JC: It's both. (They enter the unisex.)

AMB (starts washing her hands): And sex, too ! So many of them are about sex ! It's... anytime somebody does it these days it seems some legal right has been violated. This is what the world has come to, (she thrusts with each "do it" and each "sue") do it and sue, do it and sue, do it and sue, do it, do it, do it, sue, sue, sue ! (Camera pans larger and we can see NP watching - AMB sees her) Hello.

NP: Hello !

AMB: I thought John was with me.

NP: I actually liked that little... Can you show me how to do that ?

AMB: You just have to get the circular... (motions her hips in a circle and then notices NP is just smiling at her) You're making fun of me...

NP: I am.

AMB (smiling like a smile therapy): Late for court ! (she leaves a strange way, walking and jumping)


Credits.


RR and AMB walking in a sort of city park.
RR: You're going to trial with this ?
AMB: This is what she wants to do !

RR: Ally, this kind of cases...

AMB: I know, I know, I know...

MG: Renee ?

RR: Matt !

MG: Hey !

RR: Hey !

MG: How are you ?

RR: I'm fine, I'm fine, how are you ?

MG: Great !

RR: Great !

AMB: Great !

RR: Matt Griffin, Ally McBeal, my roommate.

AMB: Hi !

MG: Hi !

RR: Old friend...

MG: I've been trying to getting a TRR. One of my competitors is stepping on my trademark a little.

RR: Oh, good luck !

MG: Thanks. It was great to see you again.

RR: Me too.

MG: Bye. (he leaves)

AMB: All right, who is that ?

RR: That was my Billy. High school.

AMB: What ? You never told me about him !

RR: Cause I don't do that.

AMB: How long did you guys... (RR leaves) go out ? (AMB runs after her, RR has left in a hurry).


Court room.
Judge is Whipper Cone. Sister is testifying, JC examining her.
CL: It's not something I meant to have happened, it just did.

JC: But Sister, you took certain vows.

CL: I realize this. And I'm not condoning the affair, but...

JC: First tell us how it even started.

CL: Well, I was doing some charity work for the shelter where Peter, that was his name, Peter Reynold, sheltered the homeless. It was actually work day.

JC: Work day ?

CL: Scrubbing floors, painting walls... It had already been a long day, and we're both tired...

JC: So you made love ?

CL: No, we didn't make love ! It didn't just happened in a snap !

WC: Let's move on, could we ?

CL: As I was saying, we were both painting and tired. It turned into this game, when we both starting slapping... each other...

JC: And you made love ?

CL: No ! What's wrong with you ?

JC: Please just continue.

CL: Well, we... we were looking at each other, and there was this... We knew ! And suddenly I had urges I was totally unprepared for.

JC: So you...

CL: Not yet ! We knew we couldn't act on it, but we started to make excuses to be in each other's company. Meeting over at the shelter, more work days, and coffee, and lunch, and dinner, and another dinner... We talked about anything and everything, except... how we were feeling. You know, we couldn't go there. And then, one night, we were painting another room... I think painting was the closes thing to permissible foreplay (AMB lets out a little laugh, WC looks at her) We... found ourselves staring at each other. It was awful. I was looking at something I wanted more than anything. Something I knew I could never have ! And he saw it. And moved a little closer. And then he kissed me. He... It was so soft ! The most delicate ! And that night, in the same kind of soft delicate passion, we made love. (AMB blows her nose loudly)

WC: Miss McBeal ! In chambers, please ! (she gets up)


In chambers.
AMB: What ?
WC: That little nose blow ? You've been practicing law with John Cage too long, I'm not gonna tolerate your little tricks !

AMB: It wasn't a trick, it was real ! Plus I have a little sinus infection !

WC: Is that right ? Let me see ! (she comes towards AMB with a light doctors use to look up nose and throat)

AMB: Excuse me ?

WC: Look up. Look up ! Say Ah !

AMB: Aaaaah...

WC: You look fine. You can go.

AMB: Thank you... Is that why you called me back here, to give me a little check-up ?

WC: I called you back to shut down the stunts ! You can go.

AMB: OK. (she's going to the door)

WC: Ally ? (AMB stops and turns around to WC) How's Richard doing ?

AMB: Fine.

WC: Good. Is he.. is he seeing anybody ?

AMB: A little.

WC: You can just tell him that I said hi.

AMB: Sure. Bye !

WC: Bye.

AMB leaves.


Court room corridors.
RR is walking, almost enters a room, but once the room is opened decides against it, closes the door, and turns around. She then bumps into MG.
MG: Hey !

RR: Matt ! Hey !

MG: My case is in that room.

RR: Really ?

MG: Yeah. They haven't called us yet. You look...

RR: We both look great ! So how's the married life treating you ?

MG: It's been a little bumpy lately actually. You, you're not... ?

RR: No.

MG: Wanna get some coffee ? Maybe go out for a drink ? It really would be nice to catch up.


Court room with the nun's case. Attorney for the Mother is cross-examining the nun.
Attorney: You're a nun !
CL: Yes. And I confessed, sought penance, and was granted absolution.

Attorney: And then you saw him again and you lied about it.

CL: It was wrong, I admit that.

Attorney: You had sex with a man !

CL: A priest has sex with a boy he gets transferred ! And me... At least my lover was of legal age, for God's sake.

JC (getting up): Your Honor, she was tricked into saying that, this man is a trickster and should be sanctioned !

WC: I'm going to overrule that one.

Attorney: Miss Long, do you agree with the tenant that nuns should be celibate ?

CL: Yes.

Attorney: Well, then, what kind of message does it give to the other nuns, you running around ?

CL: It wasn't running around, it was completely discreet ! I don't even know how it got out !

Attorney: But it did get out, and if the Church does nothing about it, they face attack from the parish ! And if they do something about it you sue ! They're damned if they do, damned if they don't ! Is that it ?

CL: We're Catholic !

JC (getting up): Objection, he tricked her again ! This man is an anti-Catholic papal bigot trickster !



GT on a toilet, reading the National Law Journal.
Noises of bubbling water. She looks down at the bowl. It does it again. She's scared and gets up and looks down. There's nothing. Bubbles again. She looks closer. Stefan jumps, and it cuts to GT going out of the stall with him on her face, screaming. She grabs him and throws him at NP who is by the sinks. NP looks horrified (it lands on her hair), turns around to look at herself in the mirror, screams, throws it back at GT, who throws it back at NP, and when NP throws it back once more, RF opens his stall and Stefan splashes on the open door. The three of them look at him slowly sliding down the door. GT and RF bend next to him on the floor.
GT: He's alive !

RF: Or not.



Cage & Fish office. JC is walking in the corridor.
AMB: John ! John, we have to try to settle this. No jury is gonna pay a nun damages for...
JC: Well, you try talking to her, Ally. I can't seem to make any head way !

EV (coming up): Well, maybe I could talk to them about re-hiring her. I'm very good at talking with clergy. At communion, I'd always get the extra wafer !

AMB: What a shock ! (she leaves)


Unisex.
Stefan is on his back on a the floor of the unisex, and GT, NP and RF are trying to revive him by giving him CPR.
GT: Come on Stefan ! Come on !

NP: I think I can feel a pulse.

RF: He's not breathing.

GT: He must have somehow survived in the pipes.

RF: He's a tree frog, how... ? (they hear a flush) John !

As JC walks in carrying his remote flusher, grabbing him and leading him out of the unisex.


In front of the unisex
NP: John ! God ! I was just thinking about you !
JC: What ? What ?

NP: I'm gonna hold a little party. Intimate. Just a few close fr...

LW (arriving): When ?

NP: Ling ! Hi !

LW: Never mind hi, or Ling, why am I not invited to this party ?

NP: Ling... (JC starts to go back to the unisex, NP catches him back - to LW, while holding JC) No, you are invited, you, me, John, Richard... I just decided. I need to speak to John for a minute.


Unisex.
Stefan is now on top of a garbage can turned upside down (on a handkerchief like before).
GT: He's breathing !

RF (hopeful): He is ?

GT: Look at his little lungs !

RF: Oh, he's breathing... Hello ! He's still unconscious... (LW enters the unisex, followed closely by BT - They both stay at the door looking at GT and RF cooing at Stefan) Stefan, buddy, come on...

LW (to BT): They're talking to a dead frog.

GT (raising her head and seeing them): Billy, Stefan !

BT: What ? That's Stefan ?

GT: Yes ! I was on the toilet, and he just jumped at me, and I tossed him to Nelle, gently, and she threw him at the door, and.. and... oh... oh...

EV (entering the unisex): I have a strange but urgent message from Nelle. John needs to pee like a race horse... Stefan ?

GT: He's alive, but dying.

BT: If there's anything we can put him in, we can sneak him by...

JC enters. They hide the frog behind them, passing him from hand to hand

JC: What was that ?

RF: What ?

JC: You passed something to Billy, what was that ?

BT: I don't have... anything... (he passes the frog to EV, she puts him in her décolleté and starts to leave)

JC (as EV walks by him): Why is your bosom beating ?

EV: It's my heart. I'm in love ! Bye.


RR and MG holding cups of coffee, walking towards a table in a café.
MG: So, why did we fall out of touch ?
RR (they sit down): Matt, we fell out of touch because we couldn't keep in touch without touching, remember ? Billy Peacoe's wedding, hi, it's good to see you, we touched, Bill Caper's wedding, how you've been, we touched, Susan Miller's twenty-fifth birthday... (she lets out a little laugh) But when you got married, keeping in touch became a bad idea. (he laughs) What ?

MG: Remember the prom ? We stayed up all night, and we went fishing in the morning.

RR: Yeah ! We kept our clothes on that night ! (they both laugh) Anyway...

MG (more seriously): Two days before my marriage, I was reading through RSVP's as I came across yours. It said : "Regrets. Goin' fishing". And I cried.

RR: Me too. So here I am, talking to a man in a bumpy marriage. And this tide of common sense just comes rushing in. (she gets up) It was great to see you Matt. (she kisses him on the cheek and goes)

MG: Can I call you ?

RR: No !


Court room. The Mother Superior is testifying (MS) AMB is examining her.
MS: She doesn't regret it. As much as she declares remorse, I know she doesn't. She's just saying she's sorry 'cause that's the best way to keep her job.
AMB: Well, it's not the easiest thing to leave a man... I assume you've never been in her positions... position !

MS: She lied to me !

AMB: To err is human. To forgive, divine.

MS: There's an old Latin saying. "Si bene fotuus, no potes esse nonna"

AMB: What does it mean ?

MS: "If the sex is great, you can't be a nun".

AMB: She did stop seeing the man.

MS: Oh, yes she did, for the most godly reason of all.

AMB: Which was ?

MS: He dumped her.


In the court building corridors. JC, CL, and AMB walking.
AMB: Is that true ?
CL: Well, does it make a difference ?

AMB (fidgeting with her shoe): Well yes, getting dumped isn't exactly a show of penance, if it were I'd be Mother Superior !

CL: How did she find out ? I can't believe Peter told her.

JC: It doesn't matter how she knows, it's an evidence. (AMB is now hopping on her left leg, still having problems with her right shoe, trying to catch up with them) Oh ! Look out ! (she gets pushed on the floor as the elevator doors close just as she reaches them).



RF's office. He's on the phone.
RF: All right. Thank you.
LW, BT and GT are with him

BT: He'll be OK ?

RF: Stabilized, but he's in a coma.

GT: What are the chances ?

RF: Too soon to tell, but there's some swelling on the brain, they're gonna keep him for a while.

BT: We should tell John now, he might want some closure.

LW: It's a frog !

RF: (to LW) Shush ! Avocado... (to BT and GT) One thing to consider : he punishes himself thinking he was the one who killed him, it might be easier to learn it was Georgia.

GT: Me ?

RF: You started the game of killer cat !

GT: Nelle threw him, and if you hadn't opened the door...

BT: Alright ! If he makes it through the night, we gotta tell !

RF: Even if he lives as a vegetable ?

LW: A frog is not a vegetable ! It's meat.

GT: Does anything nice come out of your mouth ? (LW growls)


The flat of RR and AMB.
RR going through a box of pictures of herself and MG in high school.. Background singing "Is there a good way to say goodbye ?" RR is crying.


The flat of RR and AMB. They are in the living room in their pajamas. It is apparently morning.
RR: We're just gonna have dinner !
AMB: Nobody goes to dinner to have dinner, Renee !

RR: You work side by side everyday with the love of your life.

AMB: But I never...

RR: Neither will I ! Just dinner. To catch up.

AMB: To catch up on what ? You memories are all physical. You're gonna be all...

RR: Can you give me some credits ?

AMB: On this ? No. You'll bring him back here for al little night cap and show him the year book. (getting closer and closer to Renee as she speaks, rubbing her body against hers once she is close) You won't believe how funny these pictures are. Oh, look at that one. And oh, look at that one. And oh oh look at that one. And oooooh, look at that one ! Ah, ah, (faking an orgasm, RR smiles) Gee, it was only supposed to be dinner. What happened ?


Cage & Fish. JC is pacing upstairs.
AMB (to RF): How is he doing ?
RF (whispering and showing JC upstairs): He's on respirator, the next twenty-four hours are crucial, I'm gonna head down there after you guys leave for court ?

AMB: Richard, can I ask you something a little personal ?

RF: Personal questions don't bother me, Ally, I just lie (he turns around but she grabs him)

AMB: You and Ling ? Are you two serious ?

RF: Can't tell, I haven't slept with her yet.

AMB: Yes, but the reason I asked is.. Whipper kinda asked.

RF: She did ?

AMB: She misses you.

RF: She does ? Oh, well, that's over (AMB looks like she doesn't believe him).


Court room. JC delivering the summation on the nun's case.
JC: When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be a nun. At the time I thought it would enable me to fly. Then I suppose, television can cause these misperceptions. I once asked Santa Claus for one of those super feminine napkins, so that I could bike, and swim, and ride a horse, you know, all the things they promise...
WC: Counsel !

JC: Well, I can't be a nun. It's impossible. But they're suggesting it's impossible for my client to be one as well, because she broke the vow of celibacy. (RR enters the court room) But it's not impossible with her. All that Chrissa Long needs to continue, is forgiveness. And of all the places to look for it... You'd think the Church would be a good one.(cut to later)

Attorney: Love must win out ! Go with your heart ! Follow your passion ! In the movies these days, we never hear anybody say "But what about after ? What about the consequences ?" She was a nun. The thing about love, sex, we've managed to cloak it these days with so much romanticism, that people sometimes refuse to see that it's wrong, even when it's wrong. This was wrong. Taking responsibility for it is more than just saying "Sorry".

JC, AMB and CL going out of the court room.

AMB (spotting RR): Hey ! (to the others) Excuse me. (they sit and the others leave)

RR: I switched the dinner to Transick's Tower so you can come and chaperon, and I won't end up getting creamed.

AMB: I think that's smart, you're doing the right thing. Are you OK ?

RR: Well, look what my life has come too, I'm taking advice from you !

AMB (smiles, and spots somebody): Hey ! (to WC, running after her) Hey ! (catching up with her) This is from me, not from him.

WC: Who ?

AMB: Oh don't give me who, you know who ! Richard Who ! Don't who me ! I'm not presuming that you're interested or that you even care but for what's it's worth Who misses you. And the relationship with whoever doesn't appear to be serious.

WC: Ally, I really don't care. (she starts to leave)

AMB (grabbing WC's arm) : Oh ! I'm saying that's not too late ! One day it could be. (WC smiles, gets on the elevator and goes)


Cage & Fish lobby. RF, BT and GT.
RF: Wish me luck. (to JC just out of the elevator) John, it's a miracle ! Maybe it's because you've been hanging out with Nelle, I don't know, but all I can say is Praise the lord !
JC: What are you... ?

RF: Stefan ! He surfaced in the bowl ! He's in a coma, but he's not dead ! He's alive ! Alive ! Alive ! (almost whispers) Coma. We rushed him to the vet, and he's there ! He's living ! (almost whispers) Coma. The veterinarian says he's stable ! (almost whispers) Coma. He's not dead ! He's alive ! He's alive ! He's alive !

JC: Which vet ?

RF: I'll take you there (they enter the elevator) Alive !

Elevator doors are closed

BT (to GT, both in front of the elevator): He's good !


The church. AMB and the Mother Superior.
MS: If it were just the sex, maybe. But the cover-up, and the lying... How can I excuse that ?
AMB: They were really accurate lies. She doesn't want money damages, she just wants her job !

MS: You know, I adore Chrissa. But she decided to become a nun after a bad break-up in college, and she's coming back to us now on the rebound, we're just not that kind of sanctuary. Sorry. (she leaves)

AMB walks in the church and sees somebody going out of the confession booth. She hesitates and then goes in.

AMB: Forgive me, Father, I'm only about a quarter Catholic. That's my first sin.

Priest: How may I help you my child ?

AMB: Well, I'm sure that you get a lot of women in here confessing stuffs about married men and all, and I know it's a sin but... On average, do these women strike you as happy or miserable ?

Priest: Are you happy my child ?

AMB: Oh no, no, not, not me, it's... I'm not the one, it's my ... never mind.

Priest: Shall we talk about you ?

AMB: Me ? Well, umm, okay, (cut to later, AMB looking at her watch) quickly I guess. I'm a lawyer, let's just get that out of the way, and (cut to later) the.. Tenth Commandment, (cut to later) I covet all over, you have no idea, anything with decent gluts (cut to later) the premarital sex thing, we don't need to go there (cut to later) there's one that haunts me... (cut to later) last year I... I (cut to later) bed ! I can say it, bed ! I went to bed with a guy (cut to later) partly because he had a... (cut to later) It was big (cut to later) big (cut to later) big (cut to later) God ! I slept with it... him !

Priest: I often hear that size doesn't matter. How was it ?

AMB: It was great ! (cut to later) Unbelievable ! (cut to later) You have no idea ! I mean , I assume you don't ! (cut to later) It was amazing ! (cut to later) Amazing ! (cut to later) Amazing ! (she claps her teeth in reminiscence) (cut to later) Am I forgiven ?


The bar downstairs. MG and RR are dancing, EV and AMB are sitting.
EV: He's still on the respirator.
AMB: Does John know ? That, you know...

EV: That Nelle kicked him into a coma ? No, he thinks he came floating up in a coma. Who is that guy with Renee ?

AMB: Old high school friend.

EV: Is there... ?

AMB: No, they are just catching up !

EV: Right !


JC's office. Stefan is on JC desk, on the respirator, and JC with Millie on his hand, is next to him.
JC: This is Millie, I told her all about you. She can't... She can't wait for you to wake up ! I told her our little song. (singing) Green legs, leaping, and fibulas whipping, like zeal, it's all in the keeping. Be a frog, be a frog, be a frog, be a frog...
NP: Umm.

JC: Nelle ? Hello !

NP: They let you take him home ?

JC: Umm. They figure familiar surroundings. The doctor could check up on him here. It's a miracle, he's back. I don't understand how he could surface in a coma. Why didn't he drown ? It's just a miracle.

NP: Yeah. (she leaves)


The bar.
RR and MG are dancing a slow dance. AMB is looking, not so happy.


RF's apartment. He comes in with LW.
LW: I expected better.
RF: It is better, I'm settled.

LW: I have problems with newness, it doesn't make me feel sexual. (she opens the door of his bedroom, finds WC totally naked lighting another candle - the room is filled with them - they both scream in a very high pitch, RF comes next to LW to see what's going on)

RF: What ?

LW: There's a naked nude woman lighting a fire !


Cage & Fish lobby. BT and RF talking.
RF: Why in God's name would she even be there ?
BT: Did she have your keys ? (AMB gets out of the elevator in front of them, and hangs around)

RF: Yes but we haven't spoken in months ! Of all the times...

BT: Did you try to call her ?

RF: No answer, and Ling, I got no answer from Ling ! (he leaves)

AMB: What happened ?

BT: Richard and Ling went home and Whipper was waiting. Naked !

AMB: What ? Oh ! (RF comes back to them) Oh ! Oh my God ! Oh ! Oh my God ! Oh my God ! Richard, Richard, I... I... I... I told her that... you might... miss her !

RF: What ?

BT: Ally !

RF: What did you say ?

AMB: Well, just I don't know, something like... she shouldn't wait until it was too late !

RF: Ally, that was...

BT: Why ?

AMB: I didn't tell her to go to your place naked ! (the elevator dings - LW comes out and walks past them without a word)

RF: Ling. Dumpling... Macaroon... Crouton... (LW growls at him.) Toast !


NP's office.
NP: You can't really sue him.
LW: Intentional infliction of emotional distress.

NP: Ling !

LW: I open a door, and see naked nude buttocks ! And this blonde thing with big hair ! I'll never get over it !

NP: From what I understand, it was just an old girlfriend trying to get back with him ! He had no idea !

LW: You're taking his side ! I'm hurt and I'm standing with my best friend, sideless !

NP: Ling !

LW: And don't Ling me ! I want to sue !

NP: Well, I can't sue a person in my own firm.

LW: Fine. Sideless. I need to shop !


RR and AMB flat.
Ring at the door. RR opens. It's MG.
MG: You took the morning off, I see.

RR (not happy to see him): Matt ! What are you doing here ?

MG: I called your office to tell you what a great time I had, and they said that you weren't coming until later, so I... Can I come in ?

RR: Well... (he comes in) This is what married men do, right ? Meet in private places ?

MG: You know, we never broke up. (coming towards her) When college came, we went in different directions, but...

RR (almost whispering): You're married !

MG: Marriage !

RR: You shouldn't have come here.

MG: OK. Bye (he doesn't move - then he leans over and kisses her passionately - she kisses him back)


WC's office. WC is at her desk. AMB knocks at the door.
WC: Come in !
AMB: I... I am sorry ! I feel like I..

WC: Ally, you didn't do anything wrong, and neither did Richard... I... I just feel so humiliated ! God ! I thought maybe... I wanted to surprise him and... God, can you imagine ? I mean, I'm a judge even, and I'm thinking, well, OK, if I... instead of calling him to win him back, I took my clothes off !

AMB: No, don't turn it into a gender esteem thing. What if a man got naked in an ex-girlfriend apartment and waited for her, would we think that'd belittle him ?

WC: Ally, he'd be arrested !

AMB: Oh, right !

WC: I feel like...

AMB: Listen to me... here's a little game (they both sit down next to each other) I play when I get lonely, or... Close your eyes.

WC: Why, Ally...

AMB: Just close 'em ! (they both close their eyes) OK. Think of a guy. The perfect guy. Even on your wedding day, maybe, the suit, the smile, the night back at the hotel, and now make a little sound that goes with that (they both moan). OK. (AMB opens her eyes) Now, think of that man in his entirety. His habits, his hobbies, his friends, the things he thinks are funny, the things that he thinks are important, and now think of having to live with him every single day for the rest of your life. (WC shrieks) Exactly. Open. (WC opens her eyes) We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're wired to want what we really don't want !

WC: D'you think ?

AMB: Yeah. We're women. (knock on the door)

WC: Yes ! Come in !

Attorney (coming in with the Mother Superior): This wouldn't be ex-parte, I hope ?

AMB (sarcastically): Yes, I'm writing her a check !

Attorney (closing the door): Umm, we've... we've come to settle and offer your client her job back.

AMB: What ? Why ?

Attorney: I think I'll let Sister Helen explain.

MS: Umm... Unfortunately... Oh !

Attorney: Just tell them.

MS: Well, your client's affair was well known throughout the abbey. I've just learned today that it was our priest who first revealed it.

AMB: The priest ? (she starts to worry)

MS: She's been confessing to him, and Father O'Rilley, who is no priest in my mind...

WC: He broke the seal ?

MS: I'm afraid it's much worse than that... He has these little video cameras in the confessional.

AMB: (can't breathe) Puff ! Excuse me ?

MS: He's been taping all the.. He's trying to sell "World's naughtiest confessions", he's making a documentary.

AMB: What !?!

MS: He plans to leave the priesthood and become a television producer. Fox has already offered him a slot, between "Deadliest Car Crashes" and "The Oral Office".

AMB (stutters): Wh... what, wi... with the things that people confess ?

MS: The sex talk, yes ! Since that's how your client's secret...

AMB (her face is gray in her mind): Have you seen the... tapes ?

MS: No, he won't give 'em to us. But tell Chrissa that she can be reinstated.

AMB: Great.


JC's office. Stefan is on the desk, off the respirator. JC at his desk, BT, GT and NP in the room.
JC: He's not out of the woods yet.
BT: But still ! Off the respirator !

JC: Still in a coma. I'm talking him home, there's nothing they can do for him anymore. (to GT) Did he touch your face ?

GT (she has a rash on her nose and cheek, right where Stefan landed at his jump out of the bowl): Sorry ?

JC: You have a rash. Their skin can be fairly toxic to some people. Was he on your face ?

GT: Oh, well, actually, I tried to give him mouth to mouth, so maybe...

NP: John, there's something you need to know !

GT: I have to go !

NP (grabbing GT and making her stay): Stefan didn't come floating out comatose. He was conscious and healthy.

JC: I beg your pardon ?

NP: Georgia was on the toilet, and he came jumping up, and he jumped on her. She threw him in my direction, it hit me, I panicked, I threw him back. Then she threw him back, and then I really threw him, just as Richard opened the stall door and he went splat ! And he slid to the floor, unconscious.

JC (to GT): You were on the toilet, he jumped out of the bowl ?

GT: Yes.

JC: Was it a fresh bowl ? (GT doesn't know how to say no, he understands) If you'll all excuse me, I need to take a moment (they leave).


Court building corridor. AMB and CL.
CL: I'm back ! I got my job back !
AMB: Yes, yes. But Chrissa, are you really sure that this is your calling ?

CL: Sorry ?

AMB: I mean, there are plenty of fish in... There's no sin in loving men, only pain.

CL: I'm a nun, Ally, I was meant to be a nun.

AMB: You're sure ?

CL: Aren't you ? (pause) I mean, of course I'm sure !

AMB: OK.

CL: Thank you again. For saving me.

AMB: Yeah... (they hug - CL leaves).

RR (sitting down next to AMB): Hey.

AMB (jumping from surprise): Oh ! Renee ! Hey !

RR: I kissed him.

AMB: Matt ?

RR: He came by, I asked him to leave, I was doing great, right until I kissed him.

AMB: There is no happy ending there, Renee.

RR: Some men do leave their wives, and find happiness with the other woman Ally, it happens... (AMB just looks at her) You're right, you're right !

AMB: But are you gonna see him again ?

RR and AMB in their flat, having popcorn and playing a game. CL praying at church in her nun's outfit, crying. WC in her office, reading a book, remembering her times with RF (flashback), NP and LW in NP's office, LW showing NP what she bought for her. JC in his office, looking outside the window. RR at the flat, looking outside the window before pulling the curtains down and sitting down alone, remembering the kiss (flashback).


End credits.